sweat

When I think of cleansing, I think gross, nasty, and simply disgusting thoughts. I think of a 2 week chalk-drink program that makes you lose everything including your self dignity. I think of a line from the book, I'm With Fatty where Edward embarrassing tells his vulgar tale of a colon cleanse experience saying, I get to my car and with no warning, I shit myself. Cleansing just doesn't sound like something I want to do. Nope not for me.

That brings me to this point. When I think of cleansing, I sure as heck don't think of yoga. Thank goodness no one said if I try yoga it'll be like a cleanse, because frankly, I wouldn't have gone. I don't need to be doing a downward dog, and I cleanse myself.

So why am I relating yoga with a cleanse? Because that is exactly what it is. Yesterday completed my first week of Bikram Yoga. It's hot. A whopping 104 degrees hot. It's humid. Like breathing jello, as my husband would say. And it's 90 minutes long. Yes 90. For an hour and a half I breath, sweat, stretch, cramp, repeat. It's exhausting. Both physically and mentally.

All students have to stay completely silent for the entire 90 minutes. Only the teacher talks. So here is the continual conversation between the teacher and my inner thoughts...

Let's go into Dandayamana Dhanurasana.

What did she just say? How many a's are in that word? I'll have to count later.

All your weight on your left leg, locking the knee, grab the inside of your right ankle. Extending the the left arm over head.

Okay. This isn't so bad. I'm a little wobbley but I think I can do this. Oh, uh, oh no I'm falling....shoo, glad I didn't land on the lady beside me.  I'll try again. Left leg locked, right ankle grab. Nope that wasn't it. Twist the hand around and then grab. Okay got it now.

Once you have your left knee locked, start kicking the right leg out and back towards the wall. Leaning forward with your head.

What? Are you serious? I'm happy standing upright on one leg. I'm going to end up on my face, lady. Oh man I don't want to be the only one in the class not doing it. Damn peer pressure. Here we go...

Lean completely forward making a 90 degree angle between your left leg and torso. Kicking harder and keeping that left leg locked.


I get it. Lock it. But I'm not making no 90 degree angle. How can I hold this when I have so much sweat in my eyes I can't even see the mirrored wall in front of me. I don't think I can hold this any longer. I'm dying. The sweat from my hands, legs, feet, ankles are making me lose my grip. I never knew my ankles could sweat.  Oh crap! Cramping! PLEASE God how long are we holding this pose?  

Kick the right leg. Kick and kick and kick and kick.

I'M KICKING! ----------------------thoughts go blank--------------------------.

And relax.

Oh. 85 minutes to go.




As torcherous as this may sound, it really is quite pleasant. I know you're probably thinking, why would anyone ever do this, I'm never going to do it, that sounds horrible, I still recommend everyone try atleast once in their life. It is a purifying practice. It is a true cleanse. Leaving everything you have on your mat. Sweat will drip from places you never thought possible, and it feels good. Already in one week, I'm noticing a difference.

Yes it's hot. Yes it's long. Yes it's hard. But YES it's worth it! Wish me luck on my Bikram Yoga journey!

5 weeks to go....

an english past

Maybe it's the red wine, or Italian food, or the incredible Irish song I just heard on the radio that inspired me to write this, but either way I couldn't help but sit down at my computer at 11:24pm and start jotting. My thoughts, my desires, my longing.

4, short, glorious months left me a new person and somewhere on a piece of soil a half a world away, a part of my soul is still there. Roaming on unfamiliar, but oh so familiar land. I miss it. Every so often, I find myself looking back to something I will never be able to grasp again. A love. A love so real I can still, to this day, 4 years later, taste it. A love of the culture, the language, the music, history, smells, sounds, tastes, feelings, the everything. To call it traveling is an understatement. I was exploring and discovering.

The friends I met while there, will forever hold a spot in my heart. Each of them, in their special unique way have imprinted their inscription on me. Thank you. I love each of you dearly.

So England, and Europe all together, it was not easy to let go of you, and it is just as difficult to not think of you often, but I am deeply fond of you. I wish for everyone, that they can explore all of your nooks and crannies. All of your magical stories. Your richness. You are, in you're own under exclaimed way, beautiful. Thank you for all you gave me.

Cheers, my Friend. We will meet again.

Star Spangle what????



Food. Check.



Drinks. Check.









Iced mugs. Check.

Great company to spend Super Bowl 45 with. Check. Check. And check.







If you know Shawn and I, then you know we're not big into watching sports. But, when it comes to a national experience, then you better believe we are going to join in of the festivities! Pop a top and give us a firey hot wing and we're set.

Then the uncontrollable mockery starts and confusions settled onto our faces. "What did she just say? Is she...could she have...how many syllables...those weren't the words." Oo-oohhh sa-ay, ca-ann you-ou see-e-e-e? By-y-y-y-y the-he dawn-ns... Pitiful! It's our national athem! Respect it. Don't butcher it! I vividly remember hearing out dogs start to howl...she was hurting their poor ears. Camera crew should have cut away and told everyone they were having difficulties. But with all that said and our poor Steelers not winning, it was a very lovely night.

No we didn't go anywhere and no one came over, but we had a FAN-freaking-TASTIC time! Super Bowl tradition number 2 for us!



doggie love

I know I talk about my dogs a lot but I just can't help it. They are sweet, kind, strong, and have a personality all on their own. And even though they are not kids, I am, in a way, their mom. With keeping them warm at night and their bellies full, I am their protector, teacher, care giver, friend, and master.

And they take the most precious pictures. I'm not being biased, that's just the honest truth!

Comfort

All of this snow and snow-days seem to bring about this overall sense of feeling warm and fuzzy. Tucking ourselves back into bed and dreaming the day away. Or escaping into a good movie or book where we can be comforted by someone else's pretend life. But with all of this feel-good talk I want to dive deeper. Deeper into what makes me comfortable. And truly at ease.

Lets start our dive...

When I look back at all the times I felt peace and like I'm all there, I'm brought back to the little things. You know that feeling. The one where nothing else matters except where you are at that moment. That feeling of 'I get it'.

So here's where my dive took me...
To my husband wrapping his arms around me and whispering in my ear, "I have a beautiful wife."
To my collapse on his shoulder; when I know it's safe to let go.
To a good belly laugh with friends on a warm summer day, and music playing in the background.
To a walk, journey, jog in a foreign place.
To a long meditation and I hear that inner voice say, "You're OK!"
To a good inspirational blog ;)
To my neices contagious uncontrollable laughter.
To a toast. Cheers!
To my own reflection in the freezer section of the grocery passing the ice cream because I know how to take care of myself.
To my own reflection in the mirror at the gym because I know how to take care of myself.
To a client that, with the Grace of God, I've relieved pain from.
To breathing in morning air. Everything is new again.
To a long look at the stars and holding Shawn's hand under them.
To the realization that I am becoming the woman that I was always meant to be.

family hero

I always knew it growing up, but it's still nice to see it. Yesterday my dad was a town hero.

Okay I can't really say that I saw it, but I did hear about it.

A car accident happened right in front of my parents yesterday afternoon. Being the go-help-first and ask-questions-later kinda guy my dad is, he hops out of the car to help the young man laying on the ground. Head gushing with blood and a crushed on, my dad knew it was bad.

Then it got worse.

Apparently this man was very angry and agitated. Fighting and yelling at my dad for helping him, my dad sees this man has a gun. A GUN! Holding the man down my dad reaches around and grabs the gun off the guys hip, securing the gun away from this durranged man.

Cops and EMS finally shows up and takes over. Thank God no one got hurt from this man. Apparently what happens is when a person has a serious head trauma, it can alter their mood and state of mind- turing them into a crazy person.

My dad is an everyday hero.

Not-Just-For-Kids

Snow days are spontaneous vacation days for me. When I wake up in the morning to see the roads covered and my car covered, well I just cover myself up again. Warm, cozy, and keeping watch on the fort...with my eyes closed.

But it's not all relaxing on snow days. No, Sir. There's lots to be done. LOTS, I say.

Lots of F.U.N.! And my boys know it too.

They see the snow on my car and they know mom won't be driving and we're going to be playing outside!!!!!

Grab your ball. Grab your chew toy. Grab the scruff on someone else and lets head out!

We'll run, jump, hide, dash and dodge. Drop and roll. Dig. Fetch. And bark at the passing snow plows!

Yes we will have fun and when night comes we will all be tuckered out and dreaming to do it all over again tomorrow.

Thank you Snow Maker, for family vacations!