re-dos, makeovers, and mess-ups

So, do you remember back in the first week of January, I wrote about 2011 being my year? The year that I take on the jobs, hobbies, and interests that I've been wanting to do but have put off for some unseen reason? Back when I was saying how everything just feels new? Well, I'm adding to that list...of newness...and it's going to be furniture!

Furniture? Yep. Cause, I like it. (I know you asked yourself Why)

I won't be designing or building it, but refurbishing it. Taking the old, and turning it into something neat and new. I'll be re-doing. Scraping, scrubbing, and sanding away years, and painting and staining on modern. Call it 'My Going Green Contribution'.

 Do I think every piece is going to turn out to be a master piece? No. I know better. There will definitely be some trial-and-error involved. I'll have days that I'm going to put my head down, cover my eyes and think to myself, what the hell am I doing?!?!?!

But I'm not worried. It's a hobby, not a job. I know I'll have mess-ups and oopses. Just like my Spanish I'm learning, I'm going to make mistakes. Some things might come out alittle funny. But that's OK. Because for every 10 I mess-up, 1 will turn out perfect! (I'm hoping.)

And now we are at the part where you can get involved in all this fun action! If you or someone you know has any solid wood, must be solid wood, furniture that you are getting rid of, please let me know. I would be happy to take a look at it.

But for now, most importantly, get outside and look up! See that magnificent gift God has giving each of us! Life might be hard sometimes, but He has always promised us a new day!

doing little

What class is this for you? 5th? 6th?

No this is just my 4th.

Have you done this before?

No this is the first time.

Wow! You are really doing great.

Thank you. I don't feel great compared to others in the class.

Oh no. You're really hanging in there. Keep it up!



Those are some serious words of encouragement when you feel like a complete idiot in class. It's important, though difficult, for me to remember that yoga is a practice. I won't be and can't be perfect. No one is. Everyday is different. Even though Bikram has the same 26 poses every class, no 2 classes are the alike. Even for the ones that have been there 5, 10, a lifetime number of years, every class is just as different for them as it is for me. 

The first day there were things I wasn't able to do. I, frankly compared to others, was tight as a board. But now, I can bend, move, and twist because of the little nudges and pushes to my body. I talk to it like it's completely seperate of myself. "Come on. I know you can do this. Just relax and I'll let you take over." Awesome changes have occurred because of this talk!

The soreness is gone. The cramping has quit. Now it is about the practice. Working hard at pushing my body. Changing my body. And changing my thought process about growing in this practice. Hot yoga is different, it is a discipline, and in its own hot, sticky way, beautiful.

As the teacher says, "Do little. Do right. Don't just hang out in a hot room."

4 weeks to go...

sweat

When I think of cleansing, I think gross, nasty, and simply disgusting thoughts. I think of a 2 week chalk-drink program that makes you lose everything including your self dignity. I think of a line from the book, I'm With Fatty where Edward embarrassing tells his vulgar tale of a colon cleanse experience saying, I get to my car and with no warning, I shit myself. Cleansing just doesn't sound like something I want to do. Nope not for me.

That brings me to this point. When I think of cleansing, I sure as heck don't think of yoga. Thank goodness no one said if I try yoga it'll be like a cleanse, because frankly, I wouldn't have gone. I don't need to be doing a downward dog, and I cleanse myself.

So why am I relating yoga with a cleanse? Because that is exactly what it is. Yesterday completed my first week of Bikram Yoga. It's hot. A whopping 104 degrees hot. It's humid. Like breathing jello, as my husband would say. And it's 90 minutes long. Yes 90. For an hour and a half I breath, sweat, stretch, cramp, repeat. It's exhausting. Both physically and mentally.

All students have to stay completely silent for the entire 90 minutes. Only the teacher talks. So here is the continual conversation between the teacher and my inner thoughts...

Let's go into Dandayamana Dhanurasana.

What did she just say? How many a's are in that word? I'll have to count later.

All your weight on your left leg, locking the knee, grab the inside of your right ankle. Extending the the left arm over head.

Okay. This isn't so bad. I'm a little wobbley but I think I can do this. Oh, uh, oh no I'm falling....shoo, glad I didn't land on the lady beside me.  I'll try again. Left leg locked, right ankle grab. Nope that wasn't it. Twist the hand around and then grab. Okay got it now.

Once you have your left knee locked, start kicking the right leg out and back towards the wall. Leaning forward with your head.

What? Are you serious? I'm happy standing upright on one leg. I'm going to end up on my face, lady. Oh man I don't want to be the only one in the class not doing it. Damn peer pressure. Here we go...

Lean completely forward making a 90 degree angle between your left leg and torso. Kicking harder and keeping that left leg locked.


I get it. Lock it. But I'm not making no 90 degree angle. How can I hold this when I have so much sweat in my eyes I can't even see the mirrored wall in front of me. I don't think I can hold this any longer. I'm dying. The sweat from my hands, legs, feet, ankles are making me lose my grip. I never knew my ankles could sweat.  Oh crap! Cramping! PLEASE God how long are we holding this pose?  

Kick the right leg. Kick and kick and kick and kick.

I'M KICKING! ----------------------thoughts go blank--------------------------.

And relax.

Oh. 85 minutes to go.




As torcherous as this may sound, it really is quite pleasant. I know you're probably thinking, why would anyone ever do this, I'm never going to do it, that sounds horrible, I still recommend everyone try atleast once in their life. It is a purifying practice. It is a true cleanse. Leaving everything you have on your mat. Sweat will drip from places you never thought possible, and it feels good. Already in one week, I'm noticing a difference.

Yes it's hot. Yes it's long. Yes it's hard. But YES it's worth it! Wish me luck on my Bikram Yoga journey!

5 weeks to go....

an english past

Maybe it's the red wine, or Italian food, or the incredible Irish song I just heard on the radio that inspired me to write this, but either way I couldn't help but sit down at my computer at 11:24pm and start jotting. My thoughts, my desires, my longing.

4, short, glorious months left me a new person and somewhere on a piece of soil a half a world away, a part of my soul is still there. Roaming on unfamiliar, but oh so familiar land. I miss it. Every so often, I find myself looking back to something I will never be able to grasp again. A love. A love so real I can still, to this day, 4 years later, taste it. A love of the culture, the language, the music, history, smells, sounds, tastes, feelings, the everything. To call it traveling is an understatement. I was exploring and discovering.

The friends I met while there, will forever hold a spot in my heart. Each of them, in their special unique way have imprinted their inscription on me. Thank you. I love each of you dearly.

So England, and Europe all together, it was not easy to let go of you, and it is just as difficult to not think of you often, but I am deeply fond of you. I wish for everyone, that they can explore all of your nooks and crannies. All of your magical stories. Your richness. You are, in you're own under exclaimed way, beautiful. Thank you for all you gave me.

Cheers, my Friend. We will meet again.

Star Spangle what????



Food. Check.



Drinks. Check.









Iced mugs. Check.

Great company to spend Super Bowl 45 with. Check. Check. And check.







If you know Shawn and I, then you know we're not big into watching sports. But, when it comes to a national experience, then you better believe we are going to join in of the festivities! Pop a top and give us a firey hot wing and we're set.

Then the uncontrollable mockery starts and confusions settled onto our faces. "What did she just say? Is she...could she have...how many syllables...those weren't the words." Oo-oohhh sa-ay, ca-ann you-ou see-e-e-e? By-y-y-y-y the-he dawn-ns... Pitiful! It's our national athem! Respect it. Don't butcher it! I vividly remember hearing out dogs start to howl...she was hurting their poor ears. Camera crew should have cut away and told everyone they were having difficulties. But with all that said and our poor Steelers not winning, it was a very lovely night.

No we didn't go anywhere and no one came over, but we had a FAN-freaking-TASTIC time! Super Bowl tradition number 2 for us!



doggie love

I know I talk about my dogs a lot but I just can't help it. They are sweet, kind, strong, and have a personality all on their own. And even though they are not kids, I am, in a way, their mom. With keeping them warm at night and their bellies full, I am their protector, teacher, care giver, friend, and master.

And they take the most precious pictures. I'm not being biased, that's just the honest truth!

Comfort

All of this snow and snow-days seem to bring about this overall sense of feeling warm and fuzzy. Tucking ourselves back into bed and dreaming the day away. Or escaping into a good movie or book where we can be comforted by someone else's pretend life. But with all of this feel-good talk I want to dive deeper. Deeper into what makes me comfortable. And truly at ease.

Lets start our dive...

When I look back at all the times I felt peace and like I'm all there, I'm brought back to the little things. You know that feeling. The one where nothing else matters except where you are at that moment. That feeling of 'I get it'.

So here's where my dive took me...
To my husband wrapping his arms around me and whispering in my ear, "I have a beautiful wife."
To my collapse on his shoulder; when I know it's safe to let go.
To a good belly laugh with friends on a warm summer day, and music playing in the background.
To a walk, journey, jog in a foreign place.
To a long meditation and I hear that inner voice say, "You're OK!"
To a good inspirational blog ;)
To my neices contagious uncontrollable laughter.
To a toast. Cheers!
To my own reflection in the freezer section of the grocery passing the ice cream because I know how to take care of myself.
To my own reflection in the mirror at the gym because I know how to take care of myself.
To a client that, with the Grace of God, I've relieved pain from.
To breathing in morning air. Everything is new again.
To a long look at the stars and holding Shawn's hand under them.
To the realization that I am becoming the woman that I was always meant to be.